My Life Without Me
by Merlindamage
Summary: Post HBP. Severus Snape killed Albus Dumbledore. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do, and now he regrets it. He makes a wish that he was never born, and it is granted.


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Bottom of Form

"My Life Without Me"

Severus Snape stood on the edge of the building. The night's cool air blowing his black robes. He could end it all then. Make all the pain and the hurt disappear if he would allow the breeze to blow him over the edge.

A bird flew over his head. It landed on a tree in front of him, and stared at him. The moon shone on the raven's black feathers, causing it to appear to glow.

He had been teetering on the edge all his life. Never completely being on one side; light or dark. Then, just a month ago, he had killed his mentor, Albus Dumbledore. Even though this man had asked him to do it, it still hurt Severus like it was a murder he had committed.

A bright flash of light from behind him alerted him to the presence of another. He dismissed it as someone lighting the torches. He raised his arms and prepared to let himself fall.

"Is that what you really want, Severus?" asked a voice. The voice was filled with hope and it shocked Severus to hear it.

"You are not him," Severus said. "He has gone on. I killed him."

"Severus, you may have gotten rid of my body, but I am always going to be around. Now, come off of that edge," spoke the voice of Albus Dumbledore. 

Severus took the steps back onto the roof. He turned, and standing before him, looking like he was still alive, was Dumbledore. His eyes were twinkling like the stars, and his gray hair shone brightly.

"Albus, I am confused. Have I already jumped? Is this…heaven?" Severus looked around wildly, as though a sign would make it all clear.

"No, Severus, you are still quite alive. I am hear because of your wish," Dumbledore said.

"What wish?" he asked.

"You wished that you had never been born. You felt as though your life had no meaning and that it would have all be better if you had never existed," Dumbledore said simply.

"I remember," Severus said. "Yes, but, what does that have to do with you? I have wished that many a time, as have others like me."

"Severus, I am going to show you what it would be like if you had never been born. You wished it, and I will show you. You seem to have lost you way, and I, now being in a position to help you, will do so," Dumbledore said simply.

"So, you are some sort of guardian angel?"

"In a sense, yes. I am here to make sure that you do not go and do something that might end your life, as you still have a purpose to serve. You have not yet accomplished what you were placed here to do," Dumbledore said.

Severus stared at him. His mind forming many questions. "What is my purpose? How long will it take? What do you know?"

Dumbledore had been staring over the edge at a moth attracted to a flame. "I'm afraid you'll have to speak up next time. I've lost a bit of my hearing after dying and all."

"Albus, I know you mean well. But, in my years, what has my life done that could possibly have any bit of effect on others, besides harming them?" Severus asked, looking like a man defeated.

"That is what I am here to answer. Now, before we move on, I have a few things to tell you. Now, on this journey, no one can hear or see you or I. The world has already been changed to fit your…er…needs. You do not exist anymore. Now, remember this. Now, we leave," Dumbledore finished. He flicked his wand, and they were soon taken in a bright ball of light.

The roof around them seemed to evaporate. They were soon encased in a ball of the white light. Severus hear movement around them, but could see nothing else besides the ball of light, and Dumbledore. Finally, they landed, and the ball of light disappeared.

They were in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Students were sitting, eating their food in almost complete silence. They all seemed more subdued then normal.

Sitting in front of Dumbledore and Severus, with a new look to him, was none other than Harry Potter. Across from him was Neville Longbottom, and sitting to his right was Ronald Weasley.

This Harry Potter was somehow different from the one that Severus had come to know and loathe. He no longer bore the lightning bolt scar on his head, and everything about him seemed to be dimmed. He seemed sadder than usual.

Neville Longbottom seemed like a new person. His face was not round, and nor was he plump. The 16 year old boy was a handsome young man with muscles showing on his arms.

Ronald Weasley also looked new. Unlike before, his robes were not worn, but new and his face was bright with a smile.

"Where's Granger?" asked Severus, looking up and down the table.

"Hermione is a Ravenclaw," said Dumbledore, pointing to the girl who was laughing with others. "You see, Hermione met Ronald and Harry on the train in their first year. She was trying to help Neville find his toad, Trevor, that his grandmother had picked out for him. She never met them on the train because his parents suggested he get an owl instead. Therefore she had no reason to aspire to be a Gryffindor."

"This," began Severus, looking around for more changes, "cannot be. I could not have made such a change."

"Actually, you did. You see, you were not around to tell Voldemort about the prophecy. Therefore, Harry Potter never became a legend. No Death Eaters went to the Longbottom's house looking for their fallen master, and Neville and Harry grew up, living somewhat normal lives."

"What do you mean "somewhat normal lives"?" Severus asked, looking at the old man wildly.

"I mean, Frank and Alice Longbottom are now the heads of Aurror Protection. Lily Potter is a widow. James was killed when Harry first started Hogwarts."

"Killed?" spat Severus. "Killed by who?"

"A Death Eater of course. Voldemort never lost power, therefore he has been gaining power all these years. You never told him about the Prophecy. James Potter became an aurror, a mighty fine one at that. Lily Potter began running St. Mungo's. James was on his way to the hospital because it was under attack. He was killed by Lucius Malfoy," Dumbledore explained, as Severus looked on, his face not showing much emotion.

"Where is Draco?" Severus asked, peering over towards the Slytherin table.

"Ah, yes, young Mr. Malfoy. You see, Severus, Lucius and Narcissa decided not to send him here. With me being in charge, and him being the son of a known Death Eater, what good would come of it."

Severus' head was spinning. All of this new information was coming to quickly for him. Trying to gain back his balance, his gaze came to rest on the staff table. It looked almost the same. The only differences were that Horace Slughorn was sitting where he should have been, and Remus Lupin was occupying a space at the table.

"What are they doing up there?" Severus asked incredulously.

"They," Dumbledore pointed, "are professors. Horace never left the school, and Remus is the best Defense Against the Dark Arts professor to occupy the post."

"How much more has changed?" Severus asked.

"Oh Severus, we haven't even seen anything yet. There are still more lives. Friends and enemies alike. Now, we must go, and see the life of another."


End file.
